Doin' it.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. 

 Isaiah 26:3

Just when I thought I could stand, this morning I was shaken with so many thoughts, anger, doubts, anxiety of moving forward, and memories. So many memories in fact, that I honestly don’t even remember life before this past season. I truly believe that one of the most painful things we as human beings have to deal with are matters concerning the heart. Especially when you’ve completely wrapped your heart with someone, some thing, some place that your heart eventually becomes that which you hold so dear.. and something happens (*correction - then God happens) where you must part ways & say goodbye. In my almost 31 years of life and dealing with so many health issues and even blindness, I’ve come to realize there is no pain like the pain of amputating your own heart. 

I must admit, I’m still a big mess but God has been constant and has not forsaken me during this whole process. He has actually been revealing so much insight and truth as I study His word everyday. He has also explained to me why I am going through this process, where I went wrong, and where He wants to take me. Everyday I spend time in His word another piece of my heart is cut away, and a new piece is reborn. I was hoping this would be a 1 step process but I am a very stubborn man. God will be taking His time breaking down this heart of mine, completely. 

And even after accepting and saying all this… it still hurts, really hurts, everyday.  Why must it hurt, because if it didn’t I wouldn’t understand the beauty and magnitude of maturity in Christ- spiritually and in my character. There will be days that are going to be better than others, and during the dark days I must endure and persevere. Lord be my strength. 

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

Speak To My Heart - Donnie McClurkin

(Intro) 
Keep on talkin’ to me, keep on talkin’ to me 
Talk to me

(Verse 1) 
Speak to my heart, Holy Spirit 
Give me the words that will bring new life 
Words on the wings of the morning 
The dark night will fade away 
If you speak to my heart

Speak to my heart, Holy Spirit 
Message of love to encourage me 
Lifting my heart from despair 
How You love me and care for me 
Speak to my heart, Lord 
(repeat verse)

Speak to my heart 
(That’s what I want You to do) 
Speak to my heart 
(‘Cause I’m waiting to hear from You) 
Speak to my heart, speak to my heart

(Bridge) 
Speak to my heart, Lord 
Give me Your Holy Word 
If I can hear from You 
Then I’ll know what to do 
I won’t go alone, never go on my own 
Just let Your Spirit guide 
And let Your Word abide 
(Repeat bridge, lead ad-libs)

Talk to me, talk to me….. 
Keep on talkin’ to me…..